|"The Wig Master"|
|Air Date||April 4, 1996|
|← The Friar's Club · The Calzone →|
When Jerry leaves an upscale clothing store without making a purchase, he feels guilty and promises that he will return. When the sales clerk Craig, who sports a long ponytail, looks skeptical, Jerry decides to return (with Elaine) just to prove a point, but when they return, Craig is no longer interested in Jerry and almost immediately begins flirting with Elaine, much to Jerry's chagrin. Craig promises Elaine a big discount on a Nicole Miller dress that she likes, but which has not arrived in stock yet. In her professional life, Elaine is writing copy for J. Peterman about an exotic silver-handled walking stick.
Meanwhile, George and Kramer have begun parking their cars at a discount parking lot (Jiffy Park) because their rates are so low. However, after picking his car George discovers a condom inside and suspects that the rates are low because prostitutes are servicing their clients inside the cars. The lot is unable to retrieve Kramer's own car for him, but to placate him, offers him the use of another customer's Mary Kay pink Cadillac Eldorado. George sticks around to see whether the suspicious women hanging around are actually prostitutes. He offers one of them money for information, but is caught by Susan who assumes he is unfaithful.
George has an unwanted houseguest in Susan's friend Ethan, who is the "Wig Master" working for a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Ethan at one point admires Elaine's hair, telling her she could sell it for a lot of money. Ethan's co-worker, the show's costume designer, lends Kramer the Technicolor Dreamcoat. Kramer puts on the coat, combined with a large woman's hat blown off by the wind and the Peterman walking stick, and goes to pick up the pink Cadillac, but he finds a prostitute servicing a client in the car. When he ejects her, she starts arguing with him about the fee he has cost her. The police arrive and assuming Kramer to be a pimp (due to observing him dressed outrageously and arguing with a prostitute about money) they arrest him.
Jerry continues to fume about Craig's slight toward him, and unsuccessfully attempts to return his jacket out of spite. When Jerry is lunching with the wig master, another man stops by and starts flirting with the wig master; Jerry demands to know why the other man assumed he and the wig master were not together. Jerry tries to convince Elaine that Craig is just promising the discount on the dress in order to keep seeing her. At first she doesn't believe him, especially when she finds out that Craig also promises the discount to a male friend. Jerry's suspicions are confirmed, however, when Elaine finds out that the dress has been in stock at the store all along. At the end of the episode, Elaine brandishes scissors at the sleeping Craig's long ponytail.
- For this episode's quotes, see The Wig Master Quotes.