|Air Date||November 13, 1991|
|Writer(s)||Larry David, Bob Shaw, Don McEnery|
|← The Cafe · The Nose Job →|
“The Tape” is the 25th episode of Seinfeld overall, and the eighth episode of Season Three. It originally aired on November 13, 1991; it was written by Larry David, Bob Shaw and Don McEnery and was directed by David Steinberg.
Elaine anonymously leaves an erotic message on Jerry's tape recorder that he used to record his comedy act from the previous night. Upon hearing the message, he, George, and Kramer become obsessed with her. Elaine admits to George that she was the sexy voice in the tape. George is shocked to hear this and suddenly becomes attracted to her, but does not tell Elaine about it. Elaine makes George promise not to reveal her confession to Jerry or Kramer. Jerry, determined to get in touch with the woman who left the message, finds out who sat near the tape and gets her number. After his date with her, he tries to kiss her, but gets the "pull-back", and concludes that she is crazy.
George orders a cream from China after watching a commercial that claims that it can cure baldness. At Jerry's apartment, George makes a collect call to the product's company in Beijing while Jerry mocks George for being gullible enough to believe that the cream actually works. George is unable to communicate with the people on the other side of the line, since they don't speak English; meanwhile, this is when Elaine decides to stop by and Kramer decides to start making his own home videos by recording whatever Jerry, George and Elaine are doing. This includes a fake interview with Elaine, portrayed as a porn star, and she says the sex is never simulated with George, arousing him. Finally, the Chinese delivery boy, Ping, delivers the take-out Kramer orders and George convinces Ping, who speaks Chinese, to talk on the phone and help him order the cream. It takes longer than expected, because Ping was connected to a relative.
George finds it hard to control his obsession with Elaine and finally admits to Jerry that he is attracted to her. Jerry wants to know why, but George tries to keep Elaine's secret by not telling him. He finally cracks and tells Jerry that Elaine left the message. She comes in later and tells her secret to Jerry, but Jerry says George already told him. George then confesses that he is attracted to Elaine. She finds this news disturbing and then realizes that Jerry and Kramer have become attracted to her too. Freaked out, Elaine immediately leaves Jerry's apartment. At the end, the three fight to hear the tape again.
George: Hey! What are you listening to?
Jerry: My show from last night.
George: Oh, you taped it?
Jerry: Yeah, I was doing new material.
George: Hey! Did ya ever do that thing on the toes that I said?
George: Yeah! Like the big toe is like the captain of the toes, but sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so big that there's like a power struggle and the second toe assumes control of the foot.
Jerry: The "coup dé toe".
George: Yeah. Did you do it?
Jerry: Nothin'...nothing at all.