|Air Date||February 13, 1997|
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Mike, the guy who once referred to Jerry as "a phony" ("The Parking Space"), has become a bookie. Kramer, who has a gambling problem, wants Jerry to place bets with Mike on his behalf. Elaine's co-worker Peggy (Megan Cole) thinks that Elaine is a different woman named "Susie". George is excited about Steinbrenner's ball because he wants to be able to show off his tall, beautiful girlfriend Allison (Shannon Kenny) by making a "grand entrance" in a backless dress. George's plans to take Allison to the ball are put in jeopardy when he finds out that she is planning to break up with him beforehand. He therefore goes to great lengths to avoid her, saying, "If she can't find me, she can't break up with me." Kramer begins to live out his gambling addiction through Jerry, by placing bets in Jerry's name. When Jerry wins, however, Mike the bookie can't pay up. When Jerry accidentally closes his car trunk door on Mike's thumbs, Mike becomes afraid of him. Later, Mike tries to make it up to Jerry by fixing his trunk but gets trapped inside.Meanwhile, Peggy starts talking to "Susie" (actually Elaine) about Elaine, making derogatory comments about her. Elaine becomes angry, partly because of the comments, but also, bizarrely, because Peggy addresses her as "Suz" rather than Susie. When Peterman overhears he wants to resolve the conflict and demands a meeting between Peggy, Elaine and "Susie". Elaine becomes so tired of pretending to be the fake Susie, that while driving in the car one night, Jerry tells her that she should "eliminate her". Mike (trapped in the trunk) overhears this, and believing Susie to be a real person, becomes even more terrified of Jerry, thinking that he is a killer, especially when Jerry and Elaine both start to laugh sinisterly (though they are really just laughing at a funny bumper sticker).
Elaine tells Peterman that Susie committed suicide and a bereaved Peterman organizes a memorial service for her. Elaine delivers the eulogy at the wake, but becomes confused when Peterman announces that he had slept with "Susie". Peggy is even more confused to see Elaine, thinking she was Susie. When she tells Jerry, "I guess I never met Susie," he claims to have slept with both Elaine and Susie. The service comes to an abrupt end when Mike bursts in and accuses Jerry of murdering Susie, but Jerry seems unconcerned, merely commenting to Peggy, "Not only that, I broke his thumbs." Finally, when Allison cannot find George to break up with him, she uses Kramer as a go-between and Kramer breaks up with George on her behalf. Kramer shows up at the Ball in Allison's place and after a scuffle in the lobby, George tears off the back of Kramer's tuxedo and he is thrown into the main hall, making a "grand entrance" of his own. Elaine is glad to be rid of Susie, but Peterman tells her he is establishing a foundation in Susie's honor and expects Elaine to devote all of her non-working hours to running it. In a Wrath of Khan-inspired pan-out sequence that is also used several times by George, Elaine looks up and screams out "SUZ!"
Notes About Nothing
- The song on George's answering machine is a parody of "Believe It or Not", the theme song from the 1980s TV show The Greatest American Hero. Elaine constantly referring to Reggie Miller as "Cheryl Miller's younger brother" alludes to the siblings' early career. They were both standout college and professional basketball players, but during his early career Reggie had to deal with being in the shadows of his older sister. The "Wrath of Khan" sequence at the end is a parody of the first episode of the season, The Foundation.
- Mike bursts in and says that Susie didn't commit suicide. How could he know that Elaine said that that was the cause of Susie’s “death”?