|"The Old Man"|
|Air Date||February 18, 1993|
|← The Outing · The Implant →|
The episode opens at the diner where Jerry and George are having a conversation about how George's bad luck with women. George suggests he should find a deaf woman or a woman who can't speak English. Elaine arrives and proudly tells them that she has signed up to volunteer for a company that assists senior citizens by talking to them and taking them out to places in town. George and Jerry decide to sign up. Back at Jerry's apartment, Jerry and George sign up to volunteer. Kramer enters with Newman, who explains how stressful his job as a postman is. The two then ask for Jerry's old records, as they plan to sell them at a used records store.
On his first visit with his senior citizen, Sid Fields, Jerry is upset at how rude the old man is. He notices that Sid is going to throw away a large amount of records and asks if he can take them. Sid says yes, but kicks him out of his apartment. At the same time, George is having lunch at the diner with his old man, Ben. George has a panic attack about death, but Ben doesn't seem worried that he will die soon. Ben then "fires" George and leaves. Elaine, meanwhile, visits Mrs. Oliver's apartment and is shocked at her large goiter. Back at Jerry's apartment, the three talk about their horrific experiences. Kramer and Newman inform Jerry that his records were only worth $5. Elaine decides to stick with it, and Jerry decides to go back once more so Kramer can take the records and George can meet his non-English speaking housekeeper.
At Sid's apartment, Sid grows angry at how frantic Kramer and Newman are taking the records and asks them all to leave. A struggle ensues and he bites Kramer. While Newman and Jerry pull him off Kramer, his false teeth fly into the sink and George accidental turns on the garbage disposal. Jerry, Kramer, and Newman take the old man to get new teeth, but in the confusion of trying to hold the records they lose the old man. Kramer and Newman then take the records to the record store and are only offered $20. They start to argue with Jack, the owner, and they get kicked out of the store and all the records are broken in the shuffle. At the same time, however, Elaine is actually having a good time enjoying hearing about Mrs. Oliver's sexual encounters with Mahatma Gandhi.
Back at Jerry's apartment, Sid's son Tim and the agency representative are astounded at Jerry's story of how Sid became lost. They tried calling his apartment to see if he returned, but it was busy. Assuming he was home, they visited the apartment only to find George rubbing his bald, oiled-up head on the housekeeper.
At the diner, Ben and Sid talk about Mrs. Oliver, in a manner similar to how Jerry and George talk about their dates.
- Wayne Knight ... Newman
- Bill Erwin ... Sid Fields
- Tobin Bell ... Jack
- Robert Donley ... Ben
- Lanei Chapman ... Sid Fields' Housekeeper
- Victoria Dillard ... Agency Rep
- Jerry Hauck ... Tim Fields
- Ruth Cohen ... Ruthie Cohen (uncredited)
- Ryal Haakenson ... Man at Restaurant (uncredited)
- Edie McClurg ... Mrs. Oliver (uncredited)
Notes About Nothing Edit
- Beginning in this episode until the end of the season, the fork is backwards on the green Klein mountain bike in Jerry's apartment. In Season Five, the Klein is replaced with a Blue Cannondale for three episodes. When the Klein returns, the fork is again in the correct position. Curiously, the fork is seen in both the forwards and backwards positions in The Pilot, suggesting either some parts of the episode were filmed prior to the fork being turned backwards, or someone finally noticed it was backwards halfway through the episode.
- Newman's occupation as a mailman is first mentioned in this episode.
- Sid Fields is named after a character on the Abbott and Costello Show, a major influence on Seinfeld.