The Alternate Side Quotes

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Main article: The Alternate Side


  • "I made a reservation for a mid-size, and she's a small!" - Jerry
  • "Why does everyone always say [you'll like him]? I hate everyone. Why would I like him?" - Jerry
  • "Yeah, you'd better give me the insurance because I am gonna beat the hell out of this thing." - Jerry
  • "I need, like, a bucket of water. I got a car overheating. I got an alarm that won't go off. I'm pressing one, I'm pressing two - nothing! What do I do? Help me, help me!" - George
  • "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" - Kramer, Jerry, George, Elaine
  • "Moving cars from one side of the street to the other don't take no more sense than putting on a pair of pants. My question to you is, who's putting your pants on?" - Sid
  • "All these years I've been living in a community? I had no idea." - Jerry

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