Jackie Chiles

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Jackie Chiles
Gender Male
First Appearance "The Maestro"
Last Appearance "The Finale"
Occupation Attorney at Law
Portrayed By Phil Morris

Jackie Chiles is Kramer's lawyer, portrayed by American actor Phil Morris.


The character began as Cosmo Kramer's lawyer on Seinfeld. Chiles is a parody of famed attorney Johnnie Cochran; both are bespectacled, mustachioed, well-dressed, African-American lawyers with the same initials and penchants for grandiose vocabulary. Morris also emulates Cochran's distinctive enunciation and delivery. After appearing in several episodes during the series' later years, Chiles, along with many other minor characters from the show's past, appeared again in the program's finale and was crucial in failing to achieve acquittal of the characters on charges of violating the Good Samaritan Law. Jackie's catchphrase is "I am outraged!" Some have commented that the real-world persona of attorney Cochran was so flamboyant Morris had to do little more than mimic him directly in order to have a successful character who is, in reality, more impersonation than caricature.


Season SevenEdit

  • The Maestro” — Kramer sneaks a cafe latte into a movie theatre and burns himself while trying to climb over the legs of another patron - an obvious satire of the 1994 lawsuit Liebeck v. McDonald's Restaurants. The coffee company offers a settlement of a lifetime of free coffee at all of their stores throughout North America and Europe. Kramer accepts the offer before the executive had finished speaking and mentioned any money. Jackie lets Kramer have it! “‘I’ll take it’? ‘I’ll take it’?! Who told you to take it?!?”
  • The Caddy” — Jackie sues Oh Henry! candy bar heiress Sue Ellen Mischke for allegedly causing Kramer personal injury due to an automobile accident. Kramer is distracted while driving when he sees Mischke walking the streets of New York City wearing only a bra. Chiles describes her actions as "lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!" The lawsuit fails when Kramer demands she try on the bra to prove it is hers. It fails to fit because she tries donning it over a leotard. Jackie yells at Kramer, "Of course a bra's not going to fit on over a leotard. A bra's got to fit right up against a person's a glove!" — an obvious parody of the O.J. Simpson trial.
  • The Friar's Club” — Kramer's experiment with polyphasic sleep causes him to fall asleep during sex. His Italian girlfriend thinks he has died and gets some friends to dump him in the Hudson River. When he comes to, Kramer accuses her of trying to murder him. The woman calls her lawyer, who just happens to be Jackie. Upon hearing that Kramer is involved, however, Jackie says, "I don't want nothing to do with it!"

Season EightEdit

  • The Abstinence” — Kramer's face ages prematurely when he turns his apartment into a smoking lounge. Kramer then consults with Jackie about filing suit against the tobacco companies for his disfigurement. When Kramer asks if he has a case, Jackie replies, "Your face is my case." Jackie and Kramer then meet with a tobacco company lawyer, who alleges that Kramer's face gives him a sense of "rugged masculinity." Jackie replies, "Rugged? The man's a goblin. He's been exposed to smoke for four days. By the time this case gets to trial, he'll be nothing more than a shrunken head." After the lawyer says she will have an offer to settle out of court the next morning, Jackie tells Kramer, "Jackie's cashing in on your wretched disfigurement." Kramer settles the case without Jackie's knowledge for a Marlboro Man style billboard in Times Square featuring his own face. Jackie dubs this "the most public yet of [his] many humiliations."
  • The Comeback” — Although Jackie does not appear in the episode, Kramer reveals to Jerry that Chiles has put a restraining order on him, barring him from coming within 200 feet of his office. Kramer goes on to explain that because of this, he could not give Jackie a Christmas gift.

Season NineEdit

  • The Finale” — Jackie represents George, Elaine, Jerry and Kramer when they violate the Good Samaritan law. Despite losing the case, he gets some satisfaction in sleeping with Sidra (from “The Implant”), which would have been more satisfying if the jury had not reached a decision so quickly. His last line in the series is the same as Sidra's line about her breasts from the aforementioned episode: "And by the way: they're real, and they're spectacular!"

Notes about NothingEdit

  • Since the end of Seinfeld, the character has appeared in a series of television commercials.
    • In 2010, Chiles returned in a series of videos for Funny or Die. He explains it is nobody's business where he's been for the last 12 years.
  • Morris planned to star as Chiles in a spin-off, but the pilot never came to be. Though, NBC executives say a pilot was never discussed with them.
  • Morris originally had a scene filmed for The Non-Fat Yogurt if Mayor Dinkins won the election. When he lost, the scene was not used. Jerry Seinfeld has stated that if Dinkins won, then the character of Jackie Chiles may not have been made.
  • Phil is the son of the late Greg Morris, a fellow actor.

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